PACT Therapy for Couples
- Elizabeth Hackney
- Apr 17
- 3 min read
Updated: Apr 25
How PACT Therapy Helps Us Feel Safer, Seen, and More Secure in Relationships
Even the healthiest relationships can feel confusing at times. We might find ourselves repeating arguments we promised we wouldn’t have again, shutting down when we want to open up, or feeling stuck between needing closeness and craving independence. If you’ve ever wondered why certain patterns keep showing up—and how to change them without losing your sense of self—you’re not alone.
That’s where PACT therapy for couples comes in.
PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy) is a powerful attachment-based couples therapy model rooted in the science of how our brains, bodies, and attachment histories shape the way we connect. It’s built on the idea that we are wired for connection—and that feeling safe, attuned, and secure with a partner is not just a “nice-to-have,” but a deep biological need. It is the necessary foundation of a successful relationship.
What is PACT Therapy?
Developed by Dr. Stan Tatkin, PACT therapy draws from three main areas:
Attachment theory: Understanding how early relationships shape our expectations and behavior in relationships.
Neuroscience: How our brain and nervous system process and respond to stress and safety.
Arousal regulation: Managing emotional intensity in real time.
Rather than focusing only on communication tools or surface-level conflict, PACT therapy helps couples understand what's happening underneath the surface—the automatic reactions, beliefs, and survival strategies that drive behavior in moments of stress. These moments are often fast and reactive, but when we learn how to recognize and slow them down, we create space for something new in our relationships.
What PACT Therapy Looks Like in Couples Therapy Sessions
PACT therapy is experiential, which means we don’t just talk about your relationship—we work within it. That might mean practicing a difficult conversation in real-time, paying attention to subtle cues like body language or tone, or noticing how each of you responds when tension arises.
Therapy becomes a kind of laboratory for deeper understanding: How do you signal safety to one another? What makes you feel distant, rejected, or overwhelmed? How do you recover from ruptures? Do you notice your partner's cues? How do you stay connected without losing your individuality?
From there, we build tools and agreements that help you feel more supported, respected, and emotionally tethered—especially when things are hard.
Who is PACT Therapy For?
PACT therapy is a great fit for couples navigating:
Conflict or communication struggles
Emotional disconnection or intimacy issues
Differences in attachment styles or nervous system needs
Life transitions (e.g., parenthood, moving, career changes)
Neurodivergent partnerships (including ADHD, autism, or sensory differences)
At its core, PACT therapy is about creating a secure-functioning relationship—one where both partners feel like they’re on the same team, especially during difficult moments. It’s not about perfection or keeping score, but about building a foundation of mutual care, fairness, and shared purpose.
Final Thoughts on PACT Therapy
Relationships can be our greatest source of joy and our deepest source of pain. But with the right support, they can also be a powerful container for mutual healing. In PACT therapy, we work toward building a relationship that feels like a safe harbor—a place where both of you can grow, feel seen, and come back to connection, again and again.
If you're curious about PACT therapy or wondering if it’s the right fit for you and your partner, I’d love to connect.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If this post spoke to you, I'd love to support you in therapy. I'm Elizabeth Hackney, a licensed professional counselor at Cadenza Counseling Colorado offering online telehealth therapy to individuals and couples in the state of Colorado. Reach out today:
